“Listen Earl, I know that you don’t really want to hurt
these kids. I bet that, deep down under all of that blood-stained fur, you are
really a nice badger who just needs a little extra attention. That’s why you
kidnap students and eat their toes, right? You just want people to notice you.”
You don’t really believe what you are saying, you are just
trying to stall for time so you can think of a plan. But to your surprise, Earl
starts to sniff back tears.
“It’s true!” Earl cried. “It is so lonely up here in the
ceiling. Everyone ignores me all the time, unless I start munching on their
toes.” His sad voice cracked a little as he continued, “I don’t even like toes.
They taste like nasty rotten Cheetos. I just want the 7th and 8th
graders to notice me!”
You take a few steps towards the blubbering badger and offer
him a tissue to dry his tears. “Really Earl? You really just want our
attention?”
He answers by reaching not for the tissue, but for your arm.
“Nope,” Earl said with an evil laugh, “Living all alone above a drama class for
all these years has made me a great actor.”
Ten seconds later, your toes are gone. Later, as the
paramedics bandage your feet, you mumble to yourself, “That is the last time I
trust a foot-eating badger who lives in the ceiling.”
THE END
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